Coaching Thoughts: Resourceful and un-resourceful states – which are you in right now?
Today I was reminded all day about resourceful and un-resourceful states. What!? You ask…well. Let me start from the beginning. Have you ever woken up in the morning and felt like you did not want to go to work? Or you don’t want to talk to anyone? Or you are irritated at the slightest provocation?
Alternatively, have you had to wake up feeling “on top of the world”, like you can do anything, ready to face the world? Both of these examples refer to states of being. This represents an emotional state in which you are in.
If I were to ask a question, which of the states would you rather be in? I can bet most people would choose the latter state. And why not? Research shows that positive states are resourceful states. In resourceful states, you feel like you can do anything…and as a result, you CAN. While negative states have the opposite effect (think about the responses of someone in a depressive state- they are lethargic and everything takes longer to do).
The fact that you have been in this state at some point in your life means that you are able to create this state. It didn’t happen as a result of some external thing out there, YOU created it. A thing to remember from reading this is: there are no un-resourceful people, just un-resourceful states. I could bore you and tell you the psychology of the power of emotions, that we are energy beings, and try to convince you step by step how to do it- OR you can pick up the phone right now, and let your state of curiosity work for you. And experience it yourself.
So next time you are not able to do something that you REALLY REALLY want to do, choose first to go into a resourceful state-you can summon this pretty easily (you didn’t have to do something special to wake up in a resourceful state in the morning did you?).
If you struggle to do it, make a decision to get a good coach to help you practice getting into resourceful states at will. You will be surprised how easy it is. It is possibly one of the most useful skills you can ever learn. Why don’t you contact your coach now, this is probably the best time to do it, while you are in a resourcefully curious state you got into, just by reading this.
Coaching Thoughts: On being stuck and Self-criticism….
Here’s a thought
Stop criticizing yourself. There are a lot of people waiting to do it on your behalf. That negative voice at the back of your mind only keeps you stuck. Why are you spending energy on it?
Be true to yourself. Make a plan. Set the objectives. Execute and measure. Seek feedback. Take it to heart. Adjust. Repeat. Let actual feedback replace the phantom voice.
Most importantly invest in a thinking partner. A fresh set of eyes and ears. Someone you can trust, talk to them as often as you need to feel resourceful.
Good luck. Not that you need it!
Coaching Thoughts: Of leadership, waves and letting go….
Today’s Coaching Thought is longer, so print it if you are in a hurry, you can read it while you are stationery in traffic later. Or in a boring meeting.
The theme today has waves, the sea and you…and letting go
I know I know- I have spoken about it before. It however persists and presents itself. In business it’s even more prevalent but subtle. In these dynamic times it is tempting to want to control everything- especially as a manager/director- somehow the titles seduce us to delusions of superman.
I woke up this morning to the song by BeBe & CeCe Winans called It’s OK. “Though the waves seem endless, somehow we’ll cross this angry sea. With Love, all things are possible! If we just believe” goes one verse, my spirit automatically reaching out for comfort (no pun intended, I swear!). You see, this week
presented a “low” cycle in my business. In times like that it’s very easy to panic and start rushing to corrective action, which more often than not tend to make things worse rather than better. Not to mention other unintended consequences: stress, worry, strained family relationships, loss of libido, etc.
I have however learned a lesson a while ago that the universe has a pattern, and that pattern is cyclical, a pattern that necessitates polarities. There’s first the pattern of life and death, day and night, black and white, up and down, good and bad, stop and go, you get my drift. Everything is set to its own polarity and just as the sun brings with it rain, joy certainly doesn’t come alone.
These patterns impinge on business as well. For the 20 years that I have been studying and working with businesses, I have heard of a business cycle, Boom period, depressed period, Fiscal policy lag effects, the rise and fall in the product life cycle, the marginal utility curve, etc. all of these were academic concepts that had nothing to do with MY reality. Not even when I was employed (possibly shielded by the actions of my CEO’s- my salary was constant).And when I started
running my own business, I experienced the down cycle-it scared me! It made me panic and stressed. And did the same a few times after that.
Through reflective practice, I began to notice the universal patterns of Yin and yang playing themselves out in my business. I learned that working HARDER against the cycle doesn’t make you more successful, it just makes you more tired. Being tired makes you more frustrated! Being frustrated makes you more anxious, anxiety leads to all kinds of defense mechanisms, and the ending is usually NOT pretty! Then at some point, you do something that’s so basic, so effortless and you are turned right side up in the waves! (I will spare you the story of me being swept off my feet by a wave in the sea in Durban beach close to six years ago!). With that learning I slowly began to understand and with understanding came acceptance, and with acceptance calm in the midst of the storm.
It’s no mystery; it’s the dichotomous design of our universe. And the most difficult thing for any human to accept is that they are not in control of the pattern, and the not-so-common sense is that they are in control of their response to that pattern (Nobody tells you this in Business school!).
And it’s at this point that the best response is usually the most counter-intuitive: to stand just for a little while, reflect, and make sense of what’s going on: before rushing to action. I have found that the action I take, or have taken as a result of reflection is more impactful, takes less effort and is more aligned to the self-correcting
nature of the cycle.
Now, don’t confuse reflection with THINKING, they are two different things- thinking is a cognitive process of analysing and organising information. Reflection is a higher level of sensing that explores patterns, working with cognitive data as well as other unseen and apparently sense-less data. It’s elevating yourself above the level of facts,
to a systemic level, the level of the universe. Right now you are probably saying WHAT!!?
It’s OK, you don’t have to understand it right this minute- just relax and reflect and a different understanding will emerge. Trust yourself! You have been designed to deal with it! You are designed that way too!
Those few seconds, few minutes, few days might actually save you a lot of effort in the future. They might save your business. They might save your love life!
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